I HAVE CANCER

This is a post that I never imagined I would be writing. I don’t even really know how to explain it so I am just going to say it……I HAVE THYROID CANCER. I found out January 20, 2012…a day I will never forget. I’m sure every cancer patient can remember the day they were told they have cancer.

The day was a tough day all around. My sister, Selena, had just lost her mother-in-law to a terrible cancer at the young age of 67. We were all very close to her and she was also like a grandmother to my children.  Our family drove from Sacramento to Fresno (about a 3 hour drive) to be with Selena and her husband for the funeral. As I sat at her funeral, in awe of what an amazing woman she was, I wondered to myself what my fate would be. I'm only 41 years old, but these are the kinds of things you start thinking about when someone you love dies of cancer at such a young age.  Would I live a normal healthy life watching my four young boys grow, get married and have children of their own? Or….would I be faced with a diagnosis of cancer someday that might alter this path?

Ironically, and unfortunately, my question would be answered sooner rather than later. We drove back home from Fresno that day and rolled into town around 6pm. I had just answered a phone call from an Annie & Isabel customer when, at 6:30pm, my surgeon, who had removed the right side of my thyroid on January 11, 2012, called.

The words swiftly fell from his mouth…. “The pathology on your thyroid is back and you have cancer". I know it didn’t come out quite as harshly as that and he spent a lot of time talking with me over the phone, but the main thing I heard was “YOU HAVE CANCER”.

All the while, my husband was in another room getting dinner ready to put on the table and was completely unaware of the news I was taking in at that time.  So you can imagine when I came around the corner sobbing, it took him completely by surprise.  I cried like a baby the second I hung up the phone and fell into his arms. My children witnessed this too. My 8 year old later told me, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry mommy” and, really, he should never HAVE to see me cry like that!!

You see….I never for a second believed I would have thyroid cancer. My thyroid was removed due to the continued growth of a nodule in which I had two prior benign biopsies over the last four years. The cruel thing is that this particular type of cancer is nearly impossible to diagnose with biopsies.

While this has rocked my world over the last week, I have a lot to be grateful for:

* Thyroid cancer is one of the most curable cancers and most people do really well after treatment.

* The treatment itself is so much easier than treatments for other types of cancers.

* I have an amazing family to support me.

* I couldn't ask for a more supportive, loving husband to give me strength during this time.

* I have 4 beautiful boys that provide wonderful distractions for me.

* I have amazing friends and a wonderful school community that have already wrapped their arms around me.

* I get to show off my Annie & Isabel hospital gowns for a second surgery (ok…maybe I’m not so grateful for more surgery but the gowns are a plus!)

* I have a great surgeon who I know will take good care of me.

I want to thank everyone for all their support. I am amazed and overwhelmed with so many wonderful people that have started praying for me and my family and have offered to help in any way needed. I am truly blessed.  This whole experience is very surreal, unbelievable and scary but I know I can get through it!!

You know…..sometimes the game of life throws us a curve ball. I just want CANCER to know: I PLAN TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND HIT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!!!! I’m a pretty good athlete too so you don’t stand a chance against me!