Living Life After Cancer

It is hard to believe it has been two years since I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. It seems like just yesterday that I received that call from my doctor telling me I had cancer. Not a day has gone by since that phone call that I don’t think about my cancer and how it has changed me. It has been a very long, hard, journey and, for the first time in these last two years, I can honestly say that I finally feel good and am happy with where I am at.

It’s interesting with these “cancerversaries” because, on the one hand, I am excited to have another healthy year under my belt and I want to celebrate that milestone. On the other hand, in the weeks prior to my cancer anniversaries, all the emotions and feelings of my diagnosis, and what I went through, start to swirl back, causing a bit of anxiety which, in turn, make me want to just get past that anniversary date.  Last year was much worse because it was all so fresh in my mind and I still wasn’t feeling great.  This year my anxiety is not as intense but it is still lurking in my consciousness. I’m hoping with each year that passes, this anxiousness will ease.

When I was diagnosed with cancer it was quite shocking. I felt like a million bucks at the time and I couldn’t understand how this could happen to me. With the help of my family and friends, however, I became determined to kick the crap out of this cancer.......and I did.  What I didn’t realize at the time was that, for me, going through the surgeries and treatment for thyroid cancer was going to be the easiest part of this journey. The aftermath of cancer and the medications I needed to take, and still need to take, to keep the cancer from coming back, proved to be a much greater challenge for me. I had periods of feeling really angry inside because I started to wonder if I was ever going to feel good again. For over a year and a half, I woke up almost every day feeling achy and tired. It was a struggle going out looking good on the outside but not feeling so great on the inside. I had a huge amount of guilt because I felt that I should be grateful for being cancer free, and don’t get me wrong, because I was.  I was also depressed because I was in a constant state of fatigue. Running errands, figuring out what to make for dinner, going shopping, making dinner, driving my four boys to the gazillions of activities they had going on, and trying to make it through my 12 hour shifts as a nurse in a busy emergency room  all were so overwhelming. The guilt of telling my kids I didn’t want to go outside and play with them, because I felt achy and just needed to sit on the couch, made me feel like such a failure sometimes. Deep down I knew my kids were just fine but I yearned to go out, run and play with them.

In the beginning of this journey, I really felt strongly that cancer was going to make me a better, stronger person. I definitely appreciated my family, friends and health a whole lot more than I did prior to my diagnosis. As the days, weeks, and months passed by, and I still did not feel like my old energetic, fun self, I began to question whether this cancer really was making me a better person. I certainly didn’t feel strong. Frankly, it really pissed me off that I might never feel good again. It angered me that I couldn’t control how I felt. I had to rely on a medication to give me the energy that my thyroid used to do on its own but I was required to take more of that very medication to keep the cancer away. That, in turn, made me feel bad. I started asking myself, is this really making me a better person??

I began to wonder if I just needed to come to terms with the “new me”. I even hoped that I would forget what it felt like to feel good because then maybe I could deal with the fatigue better. Maybe if I could just get used to it, the thoughts of my fatigue would not consume me. The problem was that I couldn’t just get used to feeling achy and feeling like my brain was in a fog all the time. It just all felt frustrating and I came very close to telling my doctor that I didn’t think I could deal with the way I felt for much longer.

Fortunately, a wonderful thing happened to me.  I was given the great news that I was still cancer free after my one year testing and, because of this, my doctor allowed me to back off of my medications a little bit.  Over the next 4 months I began to feel less achy and have a whole lot more energy. I felt like the fog was finally lifting and I was getting glimpses of my old energetic self and what an amazing feeling that was! Now, two years after being diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I have days where I hardly think about my cancer because I often feel “normal”.   It is a beautiful feeling and something I definitely do not take for granted.

So am I a better, stronger person because of this cancer diagnosis? This journey continues to teach me a lot about myself. I am much more grateful for each day.....the good, the bad, AND the ugly days. I might complain sometimes but I am always able to put myself in check.....because I had cancer. I am painfully aware that there are so many others diagnosed with cancer traveling much tougher roads which sometimes lead to death. I don’t take life for granted......because I had cancer. I see hundreds of acutely and chronically ill patients every day in my job and I now know what it means to not feel great for a lengthy period of time. I will never take my good health for granted.....because I had cancer. I often see Facebook posts about how sad it is that the weekend is over and it is only the start of the long new week.  I used to feel the same way, but those types of posts really bug me now. I love EVERY day of the week...especially Monday......because I had cancer.  Life is fragile and things can change in an instant.  I know...... because I had cancer. So, YES, I am a better, stronger person who is extremely grateful to be healthy and I feel blessed to wake up each day and find the beauty in each waking hour.....because I had cancer.

Photo by Brenda Bisharat Photography

A Year Ago I Was Diagnosed With Cancer And Today....I'm A Survivor!!

Today I am a one year cancer survivor! One year ago, to the day, I received some pretty bad news from my doctor. I was told I had thyroid cancer. It is a day I remember quite vividly....kind of like how those of us that have had children can so vividly remember the birth of each of our children...only this memory is not a happy one. I remember the exact time my surgeon called me to deliver the news.....6:30 pm. I remember the shock I felt inside as he delivered the news over the phone and hearing those words "You have cancer." I remember hearing my surgeon tell me that I would need a second surgery and then treatment to rid my body of this cancer and the helpless feeling of not knowing what that would feel like.

I remember not being able to control my emotions and completely losing it in front of my sweet boys and husband the second I hung up the phone. Lastly, I remember the calls I made to  my parents, sister and brother, who were all out of town, and listening to the shock in their voices as they discovered their daughter and sister would have to fight cancer.  I cried a lot that day...more than I had ever cried in my adult life! It's a day I would love to forget, but, I can't, because it changed my life forever. It also changed the lives of those in my family forever. Some of these changes have been hard to accept but many of the changes have been gifts, and that is what I hold onto and celebrate.

While I was crying one year ago, I am jumping up for joy and celebrating today!! I am FINALLY feeling pretty good and, so far, all tests I've had show no evidence of cancer. My biggest tests are coming up in March but I'm optimistic!! Cancer has taught me many things and the aftermath of cancer and the treatment to keep it away continues to challenge me. I will never let it get the best of me, though, because I am a fighter. I AM A SURVIVOR!

My talented friend, Lara Kiniris, who has an amazing company called The Calligraphy Girl, made the cancer ribbon at the top of this post in honor of my one year survivor anniversary. The ribbon contains words that describe my journey with thyroid cancer over this past year. Some of these words include: Faith, Hope, Love, Fight, Live, Breathe, Kick Cancer's Butt, Support, Livestrong, Overcome, Stand Up 2 Cancer, Struggle, Radioactive, Isolation, Family, I Am Blessed, and Survivor, among many other words. I feel so lucky to have this beautiful ribbon because it will remind me of the journey I've had with cancer and how blessed I am to live each day of my life....a true gift!

Some people might think it is strange to celebrate the anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer. For me, however, it is not a celebration of a diagnosis but rather a celebration of life. I am celebrating making it through a tough journey. I am celebrating feeling good. I am celebrating a new appreciation for my family, friends and my health. I am celebrating being a SURVIVOR!!

"The Free Dictionary" defines "survivor" as follows: "to carry on despite hardships or trauma; persevere. To live, persist." I prefer my personal definition of "survivor" which is: "A person who has looked cancer in the eye, has kicked it's butt with the love and support of family and friends, and has learned to enjoy every second, minute, and day of her life to the fullest!!" You are looking at one happy woman who is ready to celebrate many more years of being a survivor! Happy One Year Cancer Survivor Anniversary to Me:-)

~Anna

The Answer Is.....Thyroid Cancer + An Update on My Journey with Cancer

Did you know that the month of September is Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month?  I'm guessing you probably don't know this, unless, like I, you have had thyroid cancer.  There is reason to give thyroid cancer some thought.  Did you know that thyroid cancer is the fastest increasing cancer in both men and women?  Since my diagnosis, I have met so many people that have had thyroid cancer and I find that alarming!!  The good news is that most types of thyroid cancer, while not an easy cancer to deal with, are very curable when found early, and especially when found in people under the age of 45 years.  I want to encourage you all to do your own "neck check" to look for unusual bumps or swelling in the area of your thyroid (which is just below your adams apple).  Here is a good process for doing your own neck check:

I feel lucky that one of my doctors noticed that my thyroid was enlarged over four years ago. At the time, I would have never thought to check my neck.  While it took four years to determine I had cancer, it appears that the cancer didn't spread anywhere and, since I am under the age of 45, I was considered to have stage one cancer. That brings me to how I am doing today.......

The last time I blogged about my thyroid cancer, I had just finished treatment and proclaimed that I had kicked cancer's butt.  Now, almost six months later, I still believe that I have kicked cancer's butt, however, it has not been the easiest of roads.  Like most thyroid cancer patients, I was initially told by my endocrinologist and surgeon that thyroid cancer is very curable and that I was lucky because it was caught early.  Those things were very true and wonderful but I translated that into thinking that I would get through my surgeries and treatment, be started on hormone replacement medication, start to feel normal again, and move on with my life with the exception of a lot more doctors appointments and tests in my future.  Over the last few months, I have realized that this is not the case.  The thing my doctors did not prepare me for was the tremendous impact that losing my thyroid would take on my body.  I did not realize that by taking synthetic thyroid hormones I would feel nothing like how I had felt when my own precious thyroid was working.  The thyroid gland controls our metabolism and is responsible for giving us the energy we need to function each day.....among a lot of other things.  The end result is that I am left with an increased amount of fatigue on an almost daily basis.  I am doing so much better than I was just a few months ago and, occasionally, I forget that I ever had cancer.  I still have a ways to go before I feel close to "normal".  I am learning to accept the "new" me and I still hope to feel even better in the next few months.  Sometimes, however, it is just hard and I find myself missing my "old" energetic self.

I would never choose to have cancer in a million years but I continue to be grateful for the lessons cancer has taught me:

Be Thankful For Each New Day 

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday......there is not a bad day of the week.  Each new day we have is a blessing and we should live it to the fullest.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

When I finished my cancer treatment and began to gain some energy, I could feel myself getting sucked right back into the daily grind of life.  It's kind of unavoidable when you have four boys to cart all over the place.  Cancer has kept me in check, though, because I say, "hey....I had cancer....this is not worth stressing over."Sometimes a little timeout in life can really help too:-)

My youngest experiencing timeout at OfficeMax:-)

Give to Others

I had so much support when I was going through treatment for my thyroid cancer and it reminded me of the importance of giving to others.  I feel blessed that I get to work in an Emergency Department because it gives me the opportunity to give to others every day that I work.  I don't take my role as a nurse for granted and I look for ways that I can make a difference in other's lives both inside and outside of work.  Cancer has given me a refreshed energy to be more compassionate and sympathetic to others.

Don't Take Anything for Granted

After realizing how much I took my healthy self for granted and the energy I used to have, I now see the importance of slowing down, enjoying my life, my family, my precious boys, and the beauty of the world around me.......and having a little fun while I'm at it!

Be a Good Friend to Someone
I have always valued my friendships but having cancer made me realize the importance of friendships.  I am blessed with some amazing friends and I want to remember to cherish these relationships.  A true friend is someone who is by your side in good times and bad.

True friends help even when it requires a little dirty work

Family is Important
Cancer didn't teach me this lesson because I've always known this and have been blessed to have an amazing family my whole life.  Cancer did make me realize, however, that having a close, loving family makes getting through tough times a whole lot easier.

I am still healing from this cancer and it has forever changed me, but in the long run.....I am going to be a better person for it.  At the end of this month,  I will have my first big tests to determine if this cancer is gone and then more tests will be done at the one year mark.  I would love it if you could send some good thoughts my way as I am a little anxious about this since thyroid cancer has a high recurrence rate but I'm thinking positive thoughts and looking forward to a healthy future!!!

So, for me........please check your necks!!

BYE BYE CANCER

Yes….Good Bye Cancer!!! I am officially done with treatment and isolation and boy does that feel good. I have been waiting for this day for over three months and I can’t tell you how good it feels to have my surgeries and treatment behind me. The radioactive iodine treatment that I received will continue to do its job for several months but I’m going to go ahead and say that I have kicked cancer’s butt!! I am still working on gaining all my energy back and that will take weeks, if not a few months, to feel completely back to normal but, with all the bad stuff behind me, I can deal with being tired and achy a little while longer. Yes, there is always a chance of a recurrence, but that is not something I am going to think about. I believe that it is so important to be positive so that is how I plan to live from here on out.

I could never have gotten through this journey without so many special people in my life. One of the most special of these is my husband, Joe. Cancer can cause a lot of stress in a family and Joe took on the reigns of our household without complaint and he did it well!! Not many husbands could switch gears and single handedly take on four active kid’s schedules, assume housekeeping 101, while also working their day job. He did just that and, in addition, provided me with so much love, support and encouragement through every step of this long journey. He is amazing and I love him so much.

I’ve already talked in previous posts about my wonderful parents, sister and family. They have helped me immensely and mean the world to me. I have always known I have the best parents and I realize it even more after going through cancer. I am also lucky to have THE best sister ever. My sister, Selena, is my best friend and I love her dearly. She also had to run Annie & Isabel by herself and we had our best month in sales to date during that time...so she was busy....in a good way!!!

I want to thank each and every one of you for joining me on this journey and especially for helping me get through each step from surgery #1 ~ to surgery #2 ~ to treatment and isolation. You have all been my biggest cheerleaders and have helped both me and my family tremendously in remaining positive and recognizing the good things that have come from this experience. We were so blessed by all of you in so many different ways:

• We have had dinners brought to our home from friends from the week I was diagnosed until now and that has been a huge blessing. It’s been one BIG thing that we haven’t had to worry about.

• I have received so many beautiful cards in the mail. I never realized how much a card received via snail mail could lift my spirits and make me smile until going through this cancer diagnosis.

• I had one dear friend, Anne, invite me over for a girls chick flick day when I was too tired to do much else but lay on the couch.  She treated me to a lunch that met my special diet guidelines and made my day!

The two of us on a more energetic day!

·   One of my co-workers baked me three loaves of bread that met my special diet restrictions to get me through the period of time that I was required to be on a strict diet. 

• I had numerous families take my children out to do fun things like bowling and going to dinner and plays.

• While I was in isolation, I had several surrogate moms to give my little ones hugs! I know they appreciated that.

·  I received this beautiful quilt made by my mother-in-law to comfort me during my recoveries and this banner, made by a friend, to remind me what my job was...to Kick Cancer's Butt!

• I was blessed by two friends who are teachers that had their children write me notes of encouragement. I cried both times because of how wonderful it felt to hear from children who were so thoughtful to reach out and write to me.

• Several times I found fun gifts left on our doorstep to brighten our family’s day (and to fatten me up after losing some weight after surgery).

• My three best friends from high school all got together to come see me. Two of them had to fly in from out of state. We hadn’t been together at one time in over 8 years and while I felt so tired that day….they gave me more energy and laughter than I had had in a long time!

• I received several small little gifts that I wore and used throughout my journey that reminded me to keep up the good fight with a smile on my face.

• I received a prayer blanket from a dear relative who I hadn’t corresponded with in years. It was a special blanket that was prayed on while being made and given a special blessing by the monsignor of their church. I used this on my bed while I was in isolation and it was so comforting.

• We had several families provide rides for our children to and from school and sporting activities

• I'm so amazed at the friendships that we've made through Annie & Isabel from far and near. This gorgeous painting was left on my doorstep, while in isolation, by local realtor and artist Tim Collom. It brought tears to my eyes because it's my family's favorite vacation spot and I've only just met Tim this year. He shared something so precious with me...his gift of art. It will remind me of the love and support of friends as I look at this painting for years to come.

• I had several friends who knew exactly what to do to make me laugh, including this special gift from my friend Amy when I was about to become radioactive. Only from a good nurse friend like Amy can you get a gift in "biohazard wrapping" to lift your spirits.

· Another great friend researched and explained the low iodine diet I was required to do prior to treatment. She helped me get organized and prepare ahead of time which took a huge weight off my shoulders!!

• I received hundreds of notes of encouragement via email and twitter and each and every note boosted me tremendously. Even Real Housewife of New Jersey Teresa Giudice read my story and sent out this thoughtful tweet!

·  I received an abundance of flowers to brighten up my days.

These are only a few of the beautiful arrangements I received

• Thank you to Facebook and all my friends on Facebook too! I know some people think Facebook is a waste of time but I have to say that the notes, likes and comments I received via Facebook kept my spirits up and made me smile so much. Facebook was my savior during my isolation period. I have been in awe and humbled by the amount of support I have received through this social network.

I don’t share all this with you to brag about all the neat things that were sent our way or were done for me and our family. I share all these things with you to show you how much of an integral part of this journey you all were in helping me win this battle. I have always felt so blessed and lucky to have so many people standing alongside me in this fight against cancer.

When I first blogged about my thyroid cancer diagnosis I said that cancer didn’t stand a chance against me and that I was going to “Kick Cancer’s Butt”. I did Kick Cancer’s Butt but the support that you all provided to me made it so much easier that I would now say that I didn’t kick cancer’s butt but, rather, WE Kicked Cancer’s Butt!!! Thank YOU so much!

So Here Are My Parting Words To You Cancer:

1. Thank you for making me a better person.

2. It has NOT been fun.

3. I have, indeed, Kicked Your Butt!!

4. Now stay away because I have an amazing life to go live.

~Anna

My Journey With Thyroid Cancer :: Treatment, Isolation, & Unexpected Blessings

I am nearing the end of my "isolation" period, after receiving treatment for my thyroid cancer. Soon I will be able to hug my husband, children, family, and smother them in kisses. This isolation period has really given me time to think about life and realize how precious it is.

Let me back up a little though, to the day of treatment, March 23rd to be exact. I was not prepared for just how difficult that day would be. I guess it would be normal to be very emotional on a day like this, but I just had not thought it through. It started when each of my children, in turn, gave me a hug and kiss when they went off to school and said "Good bye mommy".

The second that they left my bedroom, I completely lost it!!  I cried like a baby. Part of my emotions came from the fact that I would be away from my children for awhile. I treasure their hugs, kisses and snuggles so much and knew it would be hard to be without them for a few days. I believe that the bigger part of these emotions came from the realization of how long and hard this process has been for me and my family, and that I was FINALLY ready to begin the final step that would kill this cancer and allow me to move on to a healthy new future.

Thyroid cancer has provided me with an exercise in patience. I think it would have been easier if there had been no waiting, and if I could have just had surgery, moved right into treatment, and had been able to get it done and over. That is not how thyroid cancer works, especially when you end up with two surgeries, as I did. There were weeks of waiting in between each step of the process and that took a toll both mentally and physically.  I have always been pretty mentally tough and competitive by nature, so during all this time, I held it together pretty well. Sure, I had little moments of crying and feeling sorry for myself, but on March 23rd, the reservoir of emotions all came tumbling out. It was a good cry, and it was needed. I realize now, how important it was to let my emotions out, as it helped release everything that had built up inside of me over the last couple of months, and also validated what a tough journey this has been.

The first step on treatment day was a full body scan.

The scan was a little unnerving because I would finally find out if the cancer had spread anywhere beyond my thyroid gland.

My particular cancer, follicular carcinoma, has a tendency to spread to lymph nodes, lungs and bones. Had my cancer spread? I had anxiously waited two months to hear the answer to that question. In the afternoon, when I went back for the actual treatment, I received the wonderful news that the only place where they could see any residual thyroid tissue was in my neck, which was expected. There was no evidence of spread.  Now, the job of the Radio Active Iodine Treatment, which followed, would be to seek out and destroy all the remaining thyroid cells.

The treatment itself was simple. A Nuclear Medicine doctor brought in a special lead cylinder which contained a small radioactive capsule, tiny but powerful.

The doctor placed the pill in my mouth, gave me a few last minute instructions and soon I was out the door........I was officially radioactive!

My husband was instructed to stay as far away as he could. How far away can you get in an elevator? On the quicker than usual ride home, I sat in the farthest back seat, on the opposite side from Joe. He drove me to my parents home because I needed to keep my radioactive body away from my small children who would not understand the strict isolation.

I needed my own room, my own bed, my own bathroom and so I returned to my childhood bedroom.

Most of the radioactivity passes out of the body though body fluids in the first three days. I was required to drink lots of water to speed up this process and this meant frequent trips to the bathroom where I had to flush the toilet twice after each use.

The isolation itself, was not so bad because I soon became pretty nauseated, and that, combined with being achy and tired, made it easy to want to be by myself in a quiet room. During the good moments, I enjoyed having "facetime" with my boys and receiving "virtual" hugs and kisses.

Starting on the fourth day of isolation, I began to take short walks with my loves, with them walking a few feet behind me. I won't take a nice walk for granted anymore.

On that same day, I took my first dose of thyroid medication. I have never been so happy to take any drug before. This little pill will be responsible for making me feel a whole lot better in three to four weeks.

I have found another unexpected blessing in all of this. I have been fortunate enough to spend this isolation time with my parents and it has been such a treat to be their little girl again in my childhood home. The only thing missing in my room, is a rope down the middle with my dear sister on the other side, a favorite memory of when we shared this room and had territorial wars:)  I have had many long talks with my mom as she stood the required distance away in the doorway and she has taken care of me as any loving mother would. With modern technology, I have even had special texting sessions with my dad, while in the same house, from our own bedrooms, like the ones that follows:

 Still finding things to cherish....here's to unexpected blessings!

~Anna

More Blessings of Cancer and On to Treatment

As many of you know, I had surgery on February 29th to remove the remainder of my thyroid  due to my thyroid cancer. I got to show off our newest Annie & Isabel "Elizabeth" designer hospital gown which was really fun and made me feel good at a time that was kind of scary. (Speaking of our new Elizabeth gown....if anyone wants to purchase one, please email us at wecare@annieandisabel.com.  We don't have them on our website yet but we are fully stocked with them!)

Pre-Op with my Husband

Pre-Op with Sister and Mom

The surgery itself went really well and the recovery in the hospital was surprisingly not too bad….or maybe that was the drugs:-)

Smiling fresh out of surgery..yes..I think it was drugs:-)

Really, though, the pain was much less this time around, and I was able to eat pretty normal food within a couple of days which was great. It also didn't hurt being surrounded by my beautiful boys!

I just got the pathology back for this surgery, and there was a very small amount of cancer on the left side of my thyroid too. I did not expect that, but it was so small that it won’t change the treatment plan.

So now I am without a thyroid and am also not on any replacement medications for my thyroid. This is because, in order to receive treatment, I need to be depleted of thyroid hormones and become very hypothyroid. About a week and a half ago, I started to feel the effects of this. I have become a lot more tired and am now requiring naps during the day. If you know me, I am not the napping type of gal, but I am totally welcoming them now. My legs ache constantly and I just have an overwhelming feeling of heaviness. Each day seems to be a little worse. I joked with a few of my friends that this is kind of like a weird science experiment.  Maybe my kids should have entered me in the Science Fair! My body has lost a very vital organ and now with each day I wait to see what new symptoms I’ll experience.

I am writing this post now because I’m not sure that I will have the energy to do this in the next weeks and I don’t think my brain will be functioning quite as well. They say you will get “brain fog” from being hypothyroid. I’m hoping to avoid that, but I am already finding that sometimes I have a hard time remembering things (although I think that problem might have started well before my cancer diagnosis, …but now I can blame it on this..ha!)

The whole point of me writing this post is that I could really feel sorry for myself right now, and I’m not saying that I don’t sometimes, or that I haven’t cried, but I am always trying to find the blessings and positive things in this whole experience. I have been pleasantly surprised by some of the wonderful things that have come out of this. I share this with you because I hope that maybe you, too, can realize how precious our lives are and how important it is to sometimes step back, take some extra time,  and enjoy life. I know, before my diagnosis, I was so extremely busy with driving my kids around, working my job as a nurse, being a wife, and working on Annie & Isabel, that I hardly ever stopped to smell the flowers. I mentioned in my previous post about a friend telling me that “Cancer is not a gift but it brings many gifts with it”….well here are some of the latest gifts I have received from this diagnosis and I hope it helps you to also look for the blessings in your lives.

I have been given the gift of connecting individually with each of my children every morning. In this last week, I have not gotten out of bed before 9am. My husband has thankfully been home to run the house. Every morning, on their own, each of my children has come in to talk to me and snuggle. It is so sweet that they do this, and it shows me how much they care and love me. It is such a wonderful thing to connect with each of them in the morning and share some love before they start their days. It's also fun to start the day with a few laughs, and an ipad that distorts photos does just the trick.

Here is a cute picture of my boys just so you don't think I am raising aliens!!

I never found that extra time before because, frankly, it was hard enough just running around to get out the door on time. I have already grown closer to each of my precious boys and I can tell they have grown even closer to me. I will ALWAYS cherish this part of my experience and plan to make more time for this when I am well. You CAN'T turn back time but you CAN make the most of each minute you have now.

Another gift I have received is the gift of napping with my Daniel. In the past, I only loved naps for my children so that I could have ME time. Don’t get me wrong…that “me” time is important, but napping is such a short period in a child's life,  so why not join them every once in awhile? Daniel used to fight me on taking naps, but now it is something we both look forward to. He has the cutest little smile as we jump in bed together and snuggle up. I can tell how much he is absorbing all my love for him. One afternoon after our nap he told me, “taking naps together is actually kind of fun!” My heart was so full at that moment and I’m pretty sure his was too. I hope he will always remember this time as I know I will never forget it!

Getting Ready For Nap

Sweet Dreams

Another gift I have been given is to appreciate my health! I may never completely have the energy I had prior to my cancer diagnosis, but I will definitely value having a healthy body that allows me to get through everything I need to do in a day. I also want to mention that while cancer has temporarily taken my health and energy, it will never take away my spirit, and that is what is going to keep me going, to regain my strength and appreciate my health and life as I have never done before. I posted this picture on my personal facebook page a week ago but wanted to share it here too. For me, it is a visual of what I think about this whole cancer experience and I will proudly show off my scar because there is no reason to hide a badge of courage and strength.

Cancer May Scar My Skin But Not My Spirit

So the next phase for me is treatment. In 2-4 weeks I will have my whole body scanned to see if there is any spread of the cancer anywhere and then I will be given what is called a radioactive iodine treatment. The dose of the treatment depends on what the scan looks like and it is basically a pill that I will swallow. This isn’t any old pill though. Once I swallow this pill I become radioactive!! Doesn’t that sound super hero-ish? I think I will tell my kids that I will be turning into Superwoman!! The pill I will swallow is so radioactive that I will have to sit in the very back of the car to be driven home from my appointment. Also, if I were to go to the airport in the next few months or even up to the next year, there is a good chance I might set off alarms due to my radioactivity. Pretty cool huh….NOT!!

After I come home from this appointment, I will be isolated in a room by myself for one week because I cannot expose anyone to the radioactivity…especially my children. I’m not going to be feeling very good, so having to stay in a room for a week is probably not going to be such a big deal but emotionally it is going to be tough. When I am feeling down I plan to watch this.....God love my boys:

Thank goodness for technology because I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t see or talk to my family and friends. I plan to utilize face time/skype, facebook, twitter and the good ole telephone to stay in touch!! So…if you live in the area and see a bright light glowing at night…it’s probably me:-) I am on the road to being CANCER FREE!!